My rant

Claraviolet

Claraviolet

Real hero hidden in the darkness
Staff member
If you say something bad in the following replies, I am gonna get a voodoo doll for you.
How do you guys feel when people judge you? I don't feel good at all and if anything, I think it's plain rude. I have some friends who are quite high on the totem pole like managers and such. Still I have never seen them as... Anything but friends. We share things and I never ask them for any favors and they don't look down on me for having less experience .
Still some people believe that, it's very clever of me to have such friends and I just hate that. I don't care about others and I just try to be happy with what I have.
I am going through a rough patch and...I don't know where my life is heading and... People don't want to give me any chances to change myself. . So I might be taking everything to heart and today I yelled at someone who joked about my manager friend. I do regret it now.. but why can't all people be honest and open without having any ulterior motives?
:sigh:
Shucks, I wish I could fix my damned OCD tendencies and anxious attacks by myself. .
.. ugh... I hope my parents are not too disappointed in me. I am not a good person because I can't forgive easily and no matter what others say, I would never be entirely good.. . As I am just human.. ...
:sigh:  guess I am having a bad day. I had to do some work even when I am on leave. I just hope I don't have to work this weekend. Connectivity here is bad and I am afraid something would go wrong for sure
 
life is not what you think and you shouldn't worry too much about others and let them think what they want. why change yourself? for them or to become a better person? there is always time and you could do it slowly. don't lose hope and may god always be with you. bless you child
 
Angel said:
life is not what you think and you shouldn't worry too much about others and let them think what they want. why change yourself? for them or to become a better person? there is always time and you could do it slowly. don't lose hope and may god always be with you. bless you child
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Uh...I want to change myself because I am tired of my own anxiety attacks.
I don't want to try and explain things to my colleagues regarding why I can't share my food, and why i can't touch them... And I don't want to pray everyday that only a girl would sit beside me in the office bus.... Ugh
 

I think you did good then. But they're probably surprised someone else stood up for another person.
 
Claraviolet said:
Uh...I want to change myself because I am tired of my own anxiety attacks.
I don't want to try and explain things to my colleagues regarding why I can't share my food, and why i can't touch them... And I don't want to pray everyday that only a girl would sit beside me in the office bus.... Ugh
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i don't get what you are going through but it seems tough. you could get help and there is nothing wrong in getting help. even if you don't make much progress at once you could slowly change it. i am sorry for before and i didn't know about this
 
You are right in that we are only human and we all have flaws and will interpret things according to our own experiences. So try not to be too hard in yourself. 

You can't control what other people will think of your actions, you can only control your own choices. You are comfortable with your friends and know it has nothing to do with the position, so try to hold on to that. Think that they are doing a childish teasing, You can joke back, dismiss their joke and change the topic... I don't know what you would feel more comfortable with, just try to imagine them as the kids they are being. Hopefully that can help you stand it a bit better.

I hope the situation gets better.
 
BurnsyCEO said:
I think you did good then. But they're probably surprised someone else stood up for another person.
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Thank you kiddo :D
Angel said:
i don't get what you are going through but it seems tough. you could get help and there is nothing wrong in getting help. even if you don't make much progress at once you could slowly change it. i am sorry for before and i didn't know about this
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I have tried and there isn't much progress... Well, I suppose I gave up too soon.
I will probably try a bit more and I am tired of my own self these days and thank you...I don't usually share stuff except here. People give their honest opinions and they don't mind yelling at me, if I am in the wrong here :P
Thank you Kaynil Chan.
I do that all the time but when I am already having a bad day, it's kinda hard to not to snap at others ;_;
 
My cousin get them man and I know how intense that can get. You should try to work on that man and it would save you so much trouble.
 
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