I am losing hope

DarkAngel

DarkAngel

V.I.P. Member
Top Poster Of Month
i know you guys think i am a fool and i am. i have spent my life caring for my niece after my sister died.
she was my sunshine and gave me a purpose to live and lead a normal life . now she thinks i am nothing but a money maker or what she could get from me.
i swear she wasn't like that before and she changed after meeting the scumbag. i feel so heartbroken and i failed in life.

this feeling is heavy and sometimes when i am lonely at my dingy apartment i can hardly control my tears. i am starting to hate my life. your strength and words mean a lot to me but i feel like i am drowning and no one would be proud of my and what i have become.
how do i stop these thoughts. i don't want to feel this way but i don't know what to do.
all my so called blood family think i am a failure on all fronts.
 
Have you tried having a serious conversation with your niece? Does she know how much suffering she's causing you?
 
I agree with Elvis, have you had a one on one talk with her? Also I highly recommend getting a therapist, I'm sorry she's putting you through a lot of grief and heartache. I hope you can possibly patch up the relationship with her someday and she'll come to love and trust you again and start caring for you. I also hope you can get the help you need, because you are worthy of love and worthy of life.
 
Don't ever lose hope. Have you talked to your niece? If you have been giving in, she expects you to do the same again and again.... So try to communicate just how hard it is for you.

I believe communication is the key for most of the problems. However, if you have communicated the same and it's not getting through her head.... Just think about it.
What if the roles get reversed? Would you do the same as her? Would she give you what she expects you to give, as of now?

If the answer is no, it's time for you to change... If yes, you just need to express yourself well. That's all.
 
Elvis said:
Have you tried having a serious conversation with your niece? Does she know how much suffering she's causing you?
Click to expand...
i did. not once but several times. she knows my situation and his i am afraid of the future with no savings.
i don't know whether she understands my suffering or not.
Ravenfreak said:
I agree with Elvis, have you had a one on one talk with her? Also I highly recommend getting a therapist, I'm sorry she's putting you through a lot of grief and heartache. I hope you can possibly patch up the relationship with her someday and she'll come to love and trust you again and start caring for you. I also hope you can get the help you need, because you are worthy of love and worthy of life.
Click to expand...
yes i did.
can't afford a therapist and i would rather save that money. i really want her to be my support or my family whom i should depend on
Elvis said:
There's an online community where people can get free therapy or discuss with professionals for free: https://www.7cups.com
Click to expand...
never know anything could be free.
thanks a bunch elv
Claraviolet said:
Don't ever lose hope. Have you talked to your niece? If you have been giving in, she expects you to do the same again and again.... So try to communicate just how hard it is for you.

I believe communication is the key for most of the problems. However, if you have communicated the same and it's not getting through her head.... Just think about it.
What if the roles get reversed? Would you do the same as her? Would she give you what she expects you to give, as of now?

If the answer is no, it's time for you to change... If yes, you just need to express yourself well. That's all.
Click to expand...
i did and several times as well.
i cried and told her how bad my situation was. never even laughed to make her think i was exaggerating the situation.
it's time for me to let go but i feel like a failure
 
DarkAngel said:
i did. not once but several times. she knows my situation and his i am afraid of the future with no savings.
i don't know whether she understands my suffering or not.

yes i did.
can't afford a therapist and i would rather save that money. i really want her to be my support or my family whom i should depend on

never know anything could be free.
thanks a bunch elv

i did and several times as well.
i cried and told her how bad my situation was. never even laughed to make her think i was exaggerating the situation.
it's time for me to let go but i feel like a failure
Click to expand...
Don't think too much about things you can't control. Looks like she changed and from what you have said, she doesn't care about you and only cares about what benefits you bring to the table. You don't need someone like that in your life.
Family should be supportive, should communicate and resolve problems.
 
I can't help but to think of this:
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

It reads to me that you're involved in a toxic relationship with your niece. She sees you as an Automatic Teller Machine that she can use whenever she needs to. This is a one-way relationship. And it sounds like it's truly doing you harm. You need to distance yourself from her. Perhaps the two of you have outgrown your bond. It happens. People change. Sometimes by the influence of others.

I'm reminded by the above quote, because you don't choose your family. Many people's family are toxic. People take others for granted. People manipulate others because it's assumed that their victim(s) will always be there.

But you can choose your friends. And I've found that a solid friendship will endure the most battering of storms. You've got friends who have been through similar situations all around you. And congratulations for taking the first steps to reach out to somebody, anybody.
 
Claraviolet said:
Don't think too much about things you can't control. Looks like she changed and from what you have said, she doesn't care about you and only cares about what benefits you bring to the table. You don't need someone like that in your life.
Family should be supportive, should communicate and resolve problems.
Click to expand...
you are right about that and it's time for me to let go. it's been years and she stopped caring about me
Senkusha said:
I can't help but to think of this:
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

It reads to me that you're involved in a toxic relationship with your niece. She sees you as an Automatic Teller Machine that she can use whenever she needs to. This is a one-way relationship. And it sounds like it's truly doing you harm. You need to distance yourself from her. Perhaps the two of you have outgrown your bond. It happens. People change. Sometimes by the influence of others.

I'm reminded by the above quote, because you don't choose your family. Many people's family are toxic. People take others for granted. People manipulate others because it's assumed that their victim(s) will always be there.

But you can choose your friends. And I've found that a solid friendship will endure the most battering of storms. You've got friends who have been through similar situations all around you. And congratulations for taking the first steps to reach out to somebody, anybody.
Click to expand...
thank you and you are all right.
i keep clinging onto her but she wouldn't understand me and she wants money and doesn't care she doesn't have the right for it
 
Don't ever lose hope. People should give you hope and not otherwise. I really don't think you should keep in touch with your niece. Sorry to say this but she sounds rather entitled if not downright toxic.
There is only so much we can do after people grow up. It's time for you to let go of her, before she makes your life a living hell with debt and constant amount demands.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top