I don't want this

Blackangel

Blackangel

Well-known member
@claraviolet @blackrose you know about my niece and how i didn't approve of her bf? she is pregnant and that fuker wouldn't want to take responsibility.
my niece wants to have it. i am thinking of getting rid of it. i thought i was doing the right thing when you told me to respect her decision clara but this is not what i had expected. i shouldn't have listened to anyone and now i am regretting it a lot

i won't be here much or i will be here a lot.
don't know what i would decide
 
I am so sorry man.
I don't know what to say to you and I can't give you an advice. I just hope things would get better for you
 
it is alright.
but i don't like how i made her do things as she pleased and i regret not being very stern with her
 
What the hell with that guy.. just punch him and force him to marry your niece. I tell you, single mother without support of other family member is difficult, your niece will need you a lot to raise the baby
If you still insist to not raise the baby, you can always put the baby into adoption
 
People give advice Angel.
You can't blame them when something doesn't go right! They just give you suggestions and advice but ultimately, you are the one who will be taking a decision based on these things. I don't know what you actually expect me to say here. First of all, I am very sorry about your situation. 

Well then, let me ask you something, whatever decision you take, can you guarantee her happiness? She is what....like 3-4 years younger than me? She is an adult and can take her own decisions. I know that you like her a lot, but it's her life and you don't have any right when it comes to her life changing decisions, Angel. That's what I believe and I am sorry if this sounds harsh. People have a set dream for their lives and they try hard to attain it. Don't spoil it for her. 

This is one of my favorite quotes: "Even if something isn't a good decision, please understand that it is my right to take a wrong decision for my life" . I really liked this quotation. I don't even remember the book anymore but I remember this. If you keep on making decisions for others, they are going to become lifeless and heartless. You can't blame them for that either. They will get tired of everything. 

Anyway, try to communicate with her first. Try to understand her and then take a decision. This is a decision that involves two lives. Don't change her to the worst with your actions. People will care less and less, the moment they realize that, 'they' don't matter much. I like the community here a lot. I always try to keep my online life separate from my offline life. I wish I could be of some help, but this is out of my league and I really don't know what to say at this point. 

Just whatever you do, don't push her away. Once you break someone's trust in you, you could never be able to get it back completely. Excuse my typos....too tired from the work.....
 
Blackangel said:
@claraviolet @blackrose

i won't be here much or i will be here a lot.
don't know what i would decide
Click to expand...


Wow I'm sorry that things have happened like that hun but tbh you could not have stopped her from the way she was behaving. I'm sorry if you think our advice lede to this. In this case all you can do is either get rid of it or insist that guy take up his responsibilities toward her and the baby. I f he could have made her disobey you like that then he sure as heck can take care of the mess he has made. I think though that she should get rid of it and try to get her life back on track before it's to late. Maybe now she will understand your point
 
Poseidon said:
What the hell with that guy.. just punch him and force him to marry your niece. I tell you, single mother without support of other family member is difficult, your niece will need you a lot to raise the baby
If you still insist to not raise the baby, you can always put the baby into adoption
Click to expand...
i don't want him anywhere near my niece
i want him to either take care of his kid or put him up for adoption
Claraviolet said:
People give advice Angel.
You can't blame them when something doesn't go right! They just give you suggestions and advice but ultimately, you are the one who will be taking a decision based on these things. I don't know what you actually expect me to say here. First of all, I am very sorry about your situation. 

Well then, let me ask you something, whatever decision you take, can you guarantee her happiness? She is what....like 3-4 years younger than me? She is an adult and can take her own decisions. I know that you like her a lot, but it's her life and you don't have any right when it comes to her life changing decisions, Angel. That's what I believe and I am sorry if this sounds harsh. People have a set dream for their lives and they try hard to attain it. Don't spoil it for her. 

This is one of my favorite quotes: "Even if something isn't a good decision, please understand that it is my right to take a wrong decision for my life" . I really liked this quotation. I don't even remember the book anymore but I remember this. If you keep on making decisions for others, they are going to become lifeless and heartless. You can't blame them for that either. They will get tired of everything. 

Anyway, try to communicate with her first. Try to understand her and then take a decision. This is a decision that involves two lives. Don't change her to the worst with your actions. People will care less and less, the moment they realize that, 'they' don't matter much. I like the community here a lot. I always try to keep my online life separate from my offline life. I wish I could be of some help, but this is out of my league and I really don't know what to say at this point. 

Just whatever you do, don't push her away. Once you break someone's trust in you, you could never be able to get it back completely. Excuse my typos....too tired from the work.....
Click to expand...
clara life is always different. you don't even know how the world works.
i have known you for a long time and i know you can't decide what you want for your own. i am not saying it's a bad thing but it's exactly why people need their loved ones to make the decisions. what you have gone through is not right but you are innocent

Blackrose said:
Wow I'm sorry that things have happened like that hun but tbh you could not have stopped her from the way she was behaving. I'm sorry if you think our advice lede to this. In this case all you can do is either get rid of it or insist that guy take up his responsibilities toward her and the baby. I f he could have made her disobey you like that then he sure as heck can take care of the mess he has made. I think though that she should get rid of it and try to get her life back on track before it's to late. Maybe now she will understand your point
Click to expand...
it's not you and i tagged you to know what's going on. i was shaken up by clara and her words
 
Blackangel said:
i don't want him anywhere near my niece
i want him to either take care of his kid or put him up for adoption
clara life is always different. you don't even know how the world works.
i have known you for a long time and i know you can't decide what you want for your own. i am not saying it's a bad thing but it's exactly why people need their loved ones to make the decisions. what you have gone through is not right but you are innocent

it's not you and i tagged you to know what's going on. i was shaken up by clara and her words
Click to expand...

I know it must be hard hun but trust me if you had been more assertive she would probably have done something more drastic..to bad we don't have power like those rich people in movies. I'm sorry for your niece's situation and I know I may be judged but considering her age and the guy being such a waste I think that the best thing to do here would be to give it up and let her pursue her education and make a brighter future...saying you would put it up for adoption before experiencing becoming a mother is a lot easier said than done and trut me being a single parent and having to beg and be behind a guy to take care of his kid is really no fun. She should really be able to enjoy life and now is the time for her to get it back on track. I don't mean to sway your decision in anyway but just saying having a kid now can really ruin her chances of a bright future
 
Blackrose said:
I know it must be hard hun but trust me if you had been more assertive she would probably have done something more drastic..to bad we don't have power like those rich people in movies. I'm sorry for your niece's situation and I know I may be judged but considering her age and the guy being such a waste I think that the best thing to do here would be to give it up and let her pursue her education and make a brighter future...saying you would put it up for adoption before experiencing becoming a mother is a lot easier said than done and trut me being a single parent and having to beg and be behind a guy to take care of his kid is really no fun. She should really be able to enjoy life and now is the time for her to get it back on track. I don't mean to sway your decision in anyway but just saying having a kid now can really ruin her chances of a bright future
Click to expand...
i know and i want to get rid of it.
but she is threatening me again. she will leave if i don't accept her and the kid
 
Blackangel said:
i know and i want to get rid of it.
but she is threatening me again. she will leave if i don't accept her and the kid
Click to expand...

It's upto you but if you give in now things will just get worse especially if the guy doesn't take up his responsibility. You need to be stronger now and also is she still considered a minor? Can't remember
 
Blackrose said:
It's upto you but if you give in now things will just get worse especially if the guy doesn't take up his responsibility. You need to be stronger now and also is she still considered a minor? Can't remember
Click to expand...

she is almost 23.
i know she isn't a kid but she is a kid to me.
 
Blackangel said:
i don't want him anywhere near my niece
i want him to either take care of his kid or put him up for adoption
clara life is always different. you don't even know how the world works.
i have known you for a long time and i know you can't decide what you want for your own. i am not saying it's a bad thing but it's exactly why people need their loved ones to make the decisions. what you have gone through is not right but you are innocent

it's not you and i tagged you to know what's going on. i was shaken up by clara and her words
Click to expand...
 
Blackangel said:
she is almost 23.
i know she isn't a kid but she is a kid to me.
Click to expand...

I see else you could have told her u would put her in a home or something and see how she reacted but I guess it is legal for her to be on her own now..if she insists on keeping it maybe listen to her plans and see if they make sense or not and show her your perspective on her plans in a rational way
 
why did you start ignoring me?
i thought we were getting along when you cut me off.
can you really name those come true? words are different clara
Blackrose said:
I see else you could have told her u would put her in a home or something and see how she reacted but I guess it is legal for her to be on her own now..if she insists on keeping it maybe listen to her plans and see if they make sense or not and show her your perspective on her plans in a rational way
Click to expand...
i know but she didn't know much
 
Blackangel said:
why did you start ignoring me?
i thought we were getting along when you cut me off.
can you really name those come true? words are different clara
i know but she didn't know much
Click to expand...

Well perhaps you can encourage her to not go through with it before it's to late...if she chooses that way it will be really hard on you both
 
Blackrose said:
Well perhaps you can encourage her to not go through with it before it's to late...if she chooses that way it will be really hard on you both
Click to expand...
that's what i am really afraid of.
she doesn't have any good job and she doesn't know what this entitles.
i am afraid of her messing up her life
 
Blackangel said:
that's what i am really afraid of.
she doesn't have any good job and she doesn't know what this entitles.
i am afraid of her messing up her life
Click to expand...

I don't want to give you any advice that might make things worst hun but you can talk to me if you need to talk
This is not an easy thing and I really hope that she will see sense...raising a kid on your own is not a walk in the park
 
Blackrose said:
I don't want to give you any advice that might make things worst hun but you can talk to me if you need to talk
This is not an easy thing and I really hope that she will see sense...raising a kid on your own is not a walk in the park
Click to expand...
i agree and with no help, may be i should force her.
i don't know what to do anymore but i am giving her space to make her understand
 
Blackangel said:
i agree and with no help, may be i should force her.
i don't know what to do anymore but i am giving her space to make her understand
Click to expand...

I see Well i wish you all the best
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top