My rant

Claraviolet
Akatsuki

If you say something bad in the following replies, I am gonna get a voodoo doll for you.
How do you guys feel when people judge you? I don't feel good at all and if anything, I think it's plain rude. I have some friends who are quite high on the totem pole like managers and such. Still I have never seen them as... Anything but friends. We share things and I never ask them for any favors and they don't look down on me for having less experience .
Still some people believe that, it's very clever of me to have such friends and I just hate that. I don't care about others and I just try to be happy with what I have.
I am going through a rough patch and...I don't know where my life is heading and... People don't want to give me any chances to change myself. . So I might be taking everything to heart and today I yelled at someone who joked about my manager friend. I do regret it now.. but why can't all people be honest and open without having any ulterior motives?
Sigh
Shucks, I wish I could fix my damned OCD tendencies and anxious attacks by myself. .
.. ugh... I hope my parents are not too disappointed in me. I am not a good person because I can't forgive easily and no matter what others say, I would never be entirely good.. . As I am just human.. ...
Sigh  guess I am having a bad day. I had to do some work even when I am on leave. I just hope I don't have to work this weekend. Connectivity here is bad and I am afraid something would go wrong for sure

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Angel
Yoma

life is not what you think and you shouldn't worry too much about others and let them think what they want. why change yourself? for them or to become a better person? there is always time and you could do it slowly. don't lose hope and may god always be with you. bless you child

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Claraviolet
Akatsuki

(03-13-2019, 11:10 PM)Angel Wrote: life is not what you think and you shouldn't worry too much about others and let them think what they want. why change yourself? for them or to become a better person? there is always time and you could do it slowly. don't lose hope and may god always be with you. bless you child

Uh...I want to change myself because I am tired of my own anxiety attacks.
I don't want to try and explain things to my colleagues regarding why I can't share my food, and why i can't touch them... And I don't want to pray everyday that only a girl would sit beside me in the office bus.... Ugh

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BurnsyCEO
Maou Senshi

You're the one who's overreacting to a joke.

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Claraviolet
Akatsuki

(03-14-2019, 10:54 PM)BurnsyCEO Wrote: You're the one who's overreacting to a joke.


For the first time, it's funny and it's funny for the next 4 times but after that... It's not funny anymore! I told them the same but they never listen.
It's as if they don't care as long as someone doesn't talk back!  I really don't think I am overreacting at this point

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BurnsyCEO
Maou Senshi

(03-15-2019, 01:11 AM)Claraviolet Wrote: For the first time, it's funny and it's funny for the next 4 times but after that... It's not funny anymore! I told them the same but they never listen.
It's as if they don't care as long as someone doesn't talk back!  I really don't think I am overreacting at this point

I think you did good then. But they're probably surprised someone else stood up for another person.

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Angel
Yoma

(03-14-2019, 09:15 PM)Claraviolet Wrote: Uh...I want to change myself because I am tired of my own anxiety attacks.
I don't want to try and explain things to my colleagues regarding why I can't share my food, and why i can't touch them... And I don't want to pray everyday that only a girl would sit beside me in the office bus.... Ugh

i don't get what you are going through but it seems tough. you could get help and there is nothing wrong in getting help. even if you don't make much progress at once you could slowly change it. i am sorry for before and i didn't know about this

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Kaynil
Zweilt

You are right in that we are only human and we all have flaws and will interpret things according to our own experiences. So try not to be too hard in yourself. 

You can't control what other people will think of your actions, you can only control your own choices. You are comfortable with your friends and know it has nothing to do with the position, so try to hold on to that. Think that they are doing a childish teasing, You can joke back, dismiss their joke and change the topic... I don't know what you would feel more comfortable with, just try to imagine them as the kids they are being. Hopefully that can help you stand it a bit better.

I hope the situation gets better.

(This post was last modified: 03-15-2019, 04:19 PM by Kaynil.)

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Claraviolet
Akatsuki

(03-15-2019, 03:28 AM)BurnsyCEO Wrote: I think you did good then. But they're probably surprised someone else stood up for another person.
Thank you kiddo Grin
(03-15-2019, 02:42 PM)Angel Wrote: i don't get what you are going through but it seems tough. you could get help and there is nothing wrong in getting help. even if you don't make much progress at once you could slowly change it. i am sorry for before and i didn't know about this
I have tried and there isn't much progress... Well, I suppose I gave up too soon.
I will probably try a bit more and I am tired of my own self these days and thank you...I don't usually share stuff except here. People give their honest opinions and they don't mind yelling at me, if I am in the wrong here Tongue
(03-15-2019, 04:18 PM)Kaynil Wrote: You are right in that we are only human and we all have flaws and will interpret things according to our own experiences. So try not to be too hard in yourself. 

You can't control what other people will think of your actions, you can only control your own choices. You are comfortable with your friends and know it has nothing to do with the position, so try to hold on to that. Think that they are doing a childish teasing, You can joke back, dismiss their joke and change the topic... I don't know what you would feel more comfortable with, just try to imagine them as the kids they are being. Hopefully that can help you stand it a bit better.

I hope the situation gets better.
Thank you Kaynil Chan.
I do that all the time but when I am already having a bad day, it's kinda hard to not to snap at others ;_;

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Nameless
Gotei

My cousin get them man and I know how intense that can get. You should try to work on that man and it would save you so much trouble.

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