I've been there before. Lost everything, tired and no hope. I come back to my hometown just like you, you should get rest for now, recover, take your time. Everything will be fine
I want to share anime song, sung by the singer many many years later when they got older
Ano hi ni from Video Girl Ai. Maki Kimura is already old but her voice still beautiful
Voltes V no uta from Voltes V. Horie Mitsuko still got it
Blue Velvet from DB GT. Shizuka Kudo never ages lol...
Because for most people anime = battle shonen, and battle shonen is childish. Just compare luffy with bruce wayne, wolverine, punisher or dare devil, see what i mean?